Orgasms feel differently for everyone, and can happen in a variety of ways, from P-in-V intercourse to prostate massage to nipple play. But if there’s one thing we can all agree on, it’s that an orgasm represents the pleasurable peak between the build-up and release of sexual tension. Translation: It feels freakin’ amazing. But when it comes to pleasure, more is definitely more, and there are plenty of techniques to hack your way to more frequent and all-around better orgasms.
Boosting the frequency and intensity of the male orgasm comes down to three factors, sex educator Kenneth Play says in Men’s Health Best. Sex. Ever.
“One is: Are you getting the tactile sensation or stimulation that you need in order for your unique brain and body to have an orgasm?” he says. “The second thing is: Are you having the right context that arouses you? Sex is such a contextual thing. Like, to have your butthole touched by a doctor examining you is very different than a lover touching your butthole; it’s the exact same touch, but the context really dictates the experience. The third part is about mindfulness. Are you paying enough attention and connecting with your partner that you’re experiencing it fully?”
The more you practice maximizing your orgasmic experience using the tips and techniques below, the better it’ll feel to cum every time.
“There’s a compound interest,” Play says, “just like the more fit you get, the easier it is to work out.”
We talked to sex experts and evaluated the latest research to recommend the best ways to strengthen the male orgasm. Here are 13 simple strategies to take your orgasms from good to great, whether you’re masturbating or getting down with a partner.
1) Touch your taint.
If you haven’t already been introduced, meet your taint—or your perineum, if we’re getting technical. It’s the strip of skin between your balls and your butt, and it’s one of many highly erogenous zones that responds well to sexual stimulation. “This area is packed with nerve-endings, so it feels really sensitive,” says Arlene Goldman, Ph.D., coauthor of Secrets of Sexual Ecstasy.
Some guys say that by applying pressure to this area, they’re able to have multiple orgasms—which is probably because you can stimulate your prostate gland externally via your perineum. During intercourse or oral sex, ask your partner to place a finger here and press onto it until the pressure feels just right.
2) Massage your P-spot (a.k.a. the prostate).
Speaking of the prostate, it turns out this gland is the male equivalent to the G-spot. You can stimulate it externally by applying pressure to your perineum, but if you’re interested in maximizing pleasure, you’ll have to do a little anal probing.
If you’re playing with a partner, have them lube up the soft pad of a finger and stick it about 2 inches inside your butt. Once they feel the small, walnut-sized lump, they can apply some pressure and light thrusting. If you want to explore anal play solo, a prostate massager or vibrating butt plug can help you out.
One option for a mind-blowing orgasmic experience is to combine prostate and penile stimulation. Another option is to focus entirely on the prostate and have a P-spot orgasm, which many people describe as a deeper, fuller-body sensation.
“The penis is like the high scorer that keeps the morale up, and then you bring in the prostate and you’re like, ‘Holy shit! I didn’t know the prostate could assist!’” Play says. “Then you realize the prostate can do it by itself.”
Mentally, you may want to go for another round after achieving a great orgasm, but most guys physically can’t get another erection immediately following sex. “A refractory period is the time after a man ejaculates when he is no longer able to have an erection,” Emily Morse, sexologist and host of the Sex With Emily podcast, previously told Men’s Health.
This period is different for every guy and can last anywhere from minutes to a full day. However, there are ways to shorten this phase, she explains. The best way to decrease refractory time is by increasing arousal. “This could be doing something different, like trying out a toy or talking dirty (or dirtier than usual). Even small changes can be just the novelty and excitement needed to rev up the engines for round two.”
4) Try for multiple orgasms (penile and prostate).
Thanks to that pesky refractory period, it’s tough to have more than one ejaculatory orgasm in a row. But with enough practice, you might be able to have non-ejaculatory multiple orgasms, also known as NEMOs.
The key is squeezing your pubococcygeal muscle (it should feel like stopping a pee midstream) right at the brink of climax, until you learn to separate the feeling of orgasm from the experience of ejaculation. Deep breathing can also help you lean into those feel-good sensations without blowing your load.
“You can’t expect for each small orgasm to feel like your usual orgasms,” Jonathan Stegall, M.D., founder and president of the Center for Advanced Medicine in Atlanta, previously told Men’s Health. “They’ll be less in intensity, but for some men, having several small orgasms is actually preferable to having one big one.”
If you ask Play, the easiest way to cum multiple times is to throw some prostate orgasms into the mix, since the recovery time is shorter.
5) Do kegels.
“You know how women do kegel exercises and say it strengthens their vaginal orgasm? Men can do the same,” says Alex Robboy, a sex therapist in Philadelphia.
Essentially, kegel exercises are a way of contracting the muscles of the pelvic floor, which give you greater control and intensity during sex. Try lifting your penis up and down with your muscles, or even try to “write the alphabet with the tip of your penis,” suggests Robboy.
6) Use a sex toy.
We’re used to sex toys being marketed toward women and people with a vulva, but there are plenty of toys out there to help penis-owners get off, too. You’ve probably heard of the Fleshlight, a popular male masturbator, but did you know there are also vibrators designed specifically for the penis? Cock rings, butt plugs, and prostate massagers can also bring new sensations into your sexual experience.
7) Eat an orgasm-friendly diet.
Getting in shape will help every facet of your sex life, and part of getting in shape is eating better.Start with greens. Spinach helps dilate blood vessels, which can increase blood flow to the genitals. Other greens like kale, cabbage, and bok choy are good sources of folate, which helps reproductive health.
Next, make sure you’re eating eggs. They’re rich in B vitamins, which ease stress and are important for a healthy libido, which means better orgasms. Finally, get down with some oatmeal. Oats and whole grains are one of the few natural ways to boost testosterone in your bloodstream. More testosterone equals stronger orgasms.
8) Try edging.
Delayed gratification can be hard to master, but when it comes to your orgasm, it’s well worth it. A study in the Journal of Sex Research advocated “edging,” or the practice of purposefully delaying orgasm for a more intense climax. The study showed that if people paused when they were about 90 percent of the way to climax, and then resumed after slowing down a bit, their eventual orgasm was way more powerful.
It’s an easy way to amp up your game: Bring yourself to the “edge” of your orgasm, slow down, pause, and then start back up again. Try to do this two or three times before letting yourself go.
The hormone that helps you orgasm is the same one that your body produces when you root for your favorite sports team, lift weights at the gym, or watch Game of Thrones.
Research from Athens’ Military Hospital in Greece found that when you have more T in your bloodstream, you’re more likely to orgasm—and do it big. Before your next romp, try some testosterone-boosting activities like going for a run.
10) Stroke your sack.
Just before you ejaculate, your testicles rise up near your body to give more power to your ejaculation. “If you press gently upward on the testicles just before ejaculation, it’s likely to be very arousing,” says Goldman.
Ask your partner to place the palm of their hand upward on your balls, moving them a little closer to your body. It’ll heighten your arousal and increase the intensity of your orgasm.
11) Focus on the physical.
Sometimes during sex, you’ll get lost in your head—thinking about how hot your partner is, pondering the best porn you’ve ever watched, or even thinking about what’s for dinner. For a better orgasm, return to your body.
Think about it like this: If you’re running, you’ll get a completely different workout if you’re letting your mind wander than if you’re completely concentrating on your form. “Focus on the physical sensation,” says Robboy, and you’ll feel your body responding differently.
12) Just breathe.
“This comes from tantric sex, where you’re supposed to move the stroke with your breath,” says Goldman.
Zero in on your breath, and try to slow it down until it’s in tune with your thrusts. When you’re just about to come, you’ll notice your heart rate and breathing naturally start to speed up—but keeping it slower will improve the amount of oxygen and blood flow that reaches your genitals, making your climax even stronger.
13) Lower your blood pressure
First, you should maintain a low blood pressure for the sake of your overall health. However, keeping your blood pressure low can also help with your sex life. That’s because damage from high blood pressure limits blood flow throughout your body–including the penis. This can make it difficult to maintain erections. Plus, high blood pressure is linked to problems with ejaculation and reduced sexual desire, according to the Mayo Clinic.
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