One of the easiest ways to connect with yourself is through masturbation. Not only is it healthy and normal to touch yourself, it can also feel pretty damn good. The clitoris and the glans of the penis each contain some thousands of sensory nerve endings, making them the most touch-sensitive parts of the body.
Still, it’s hard to know how your body responds to pleasure if you don’t understand the skin you’re in. And if you want to get in touch with self-pleasure, well, there’s an app for that. Several, actually. Known as “guided masturbation” apps, they blend the stress-relieving properties of meditation with sexual pleasure.
What is guided masturbation?
Guided masturbation is an audio-only experience where your solo fun is narrated by a voice artist who guides you through the movements of self-exploration, explains Angie Rowntree, founder and director of Sssh.com, a hub for sex-positive, ethical porn made from a woman’s point of view. (Sssh is also home to a library of guided masturbation audio recordings.)
“Per the creativity of the content creator, a guided masturbation session can take on many fun fantasy scenarios or feature different sexual angles, too,” Rowntree says. “So guided masturbation is not only a great way to explore pleasurable new territories that maybe haven’t been on your radar before … but is also a chance to indulge in sweet, uninhibited escape.”
What are the benefits of guided masturbation?
Well, first, you get to have an orgasm, but there are many benefits to guided masturbation beyond getting off.
“Because guided masturbation tells you when and how to please yourself, you don’t need to ‘think’—you can just feel,” Rowntree says. Plus, you get to explore new self-pleasure activities you might not have tried otherwise. “We all have our own favorite ‘routines’ when it comes to self-pleasure, and guided masturbation is a fun new way to ‘spice things up’ and learn new techniques.” (Currently, the top three guided masturbation topics trending with Sssh members are edging, nipple orgasms, and exhibitionism.)
The benefits of guided masturbation extend past solo play, too. “The act of verbalizing sexual desire—or merely hearing it verbalized—is powerful,” Rowntree says. “If you sometimes struggle to articulate what you like to a partner, listening to guided masturbation can definitely help you speak up and fill in the blanks…with a loud crescendo of delight.”
According to Rowntree, one of the things Sssh members enjoy about its audio guided masturbation library is the freedom to imagine the seductive stranger behind the voice. (Brad Pitt? Jason Momoa? The hot neighbor next door?) “Whereas an adult film literally gives you the full explicit picture, listening to guided masturbation engages your brain in creating your very own cinematic experience with the character of your choice that only you get to watch,” Rowntree says. “It’s total escapism; just put on your headset, lie back, close your eyes, and go on the journey.”
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How do I get started with guided masturbation?
So, you’re curious about guided masturbation, but not sure where to start? “Give yourself time, privacy, and space to both relax and fully enjoy,” Rowntree says. “Put on a comfy headset and let the program take you away to a blissful escape!”
When choosing a recording, make sure you find the narrator’s voice appealing. “Whether it’s a sexy accent or a deep timbre, you want to ensure that the audio and/or story puts you in the right mood,” Rowntree says.
You don’t have to stick with the same vocal artist, either. A recent study found a link between more exploration today and more happiness tomorrow. Rowntree encourages listeners to widen their world and enjoy a variety of voices: “Each voice artist takes you on a different journey depending on their style.”
After your session, debrief. “Think: what did you enjoy that you haven’t tried before?” Rowntree advises. “What would you like to experience more of? What was the most fun about this particular session and how can it fuel your future fantasies?”
What is guided masturbation actually like?
I’m well-versed in watching porn. I used to review porn for AVN in the early aughts, after all. Also, I masturbate—a lot. And even though I make a living off stringing words together, I was skeptical of whether words alone could get me wet.
I went on to Sssh.com and settled on a guided masturbation called “Your Nipples.” (I’ve been super into nipple play lately, ISO the elusive nipplegasm.) I was sold that the 29-minute tease would focus solely on my nipples. From the opening line, delivered by reader John Eros—“You’re wearing your lingerie for me; I like that”—I immediately sunk into a submissive headspace. It was as if John were speaking directly to me. And I really liked it. In the dreamiest of voices, he instructed me to move my fingertips around my body, telling me exactly how and where to put them. He told me how I was being watched, how much he wanted to pounce on me and penetrate me—but I’d have to wait. It’s like he knew how much I like being watched IRL. I desperately wanted John to squeeze my nipples.
But it was when he first said, “Good girl,” that I lost it. I’m a switch in the bedroom, and sometimes, really like being told what to do. I’m also super into being praised by lovers. John had my pleasure dialed.
As John cooed, “Squeeze yourself for me. That’s it,” I fantasized about his mouth biting my nipples. “I simply want your nipples rock hard with need.” Oh, trust me, John, they were.
I fondled myself as he made believable sucking sounds. When the audio wrapped up at 29 minutes, I was so aroused that I took matters into my own hands and had the most incredible orgasm, based on John’s super-hot mental fodder.
In addition to writing, I’m a sex worker, so I’m forever making fantasies happen for others. It was beyond refreshing to have someone else, albeit a faceless voice on an app, make one happen for me. I was able to check out of “being in charge” mode and simply sit back and relax and put pleasure on guided autopilot. John Eros, whomever, wherever you are, thank you. I thank you from my nips down to my knees.
Guided masturbation apps and websites to try:
Sssh
Last year, Sssh.com released a new collection of guided masturbation sessions geared towards women’s exploration and pleasure. Top guided masturbation favorites among Sssh.com members explore edging and nipple orgasms, while other sessions focus on exhibitionist desires, mutual masturbation, a vibrator tease, and more.
Dipsea
Although Dipsea was designed with women in mind, it caters to literally everyone, offering categories for gender and sexual orientation, the type of scenario (think “hookup” or “role play”) and the level of raciness.
Kama
The app is aimed at people of every age, gender, sexual orientation, and body size; both couples and singles alike. Short meditation sessions, called “Self-Care Practices,” intend to make pleasure part of your daily routine.
Quinn
If you’re looking for audio erotica, where you can choose a voice to tell you exactly what to do, different paces of porn (from passionate to rough), and a variety of kink and fantasy scenarios, Quinn’s got your covered. Half of Quinn’s users are men and site’s most frequent search term is “lesbian.”
OMGYes
This app is all about female* sexual pleasure—and it’s also great for people who have sex with people with vaginas. Whether you’re into edging, experimenting with rhythm, or multiple orgasms, this site teaches vagina havers that masturbation is the ultimate act of self-love.
(*It should be noted that not all people with vaginas identify as female, and not all females have a vagina.)
Guided by Glow
Dip into Guided by Glow’s gender filter-based sessions, with cues to help you focus you on tactile things like breathing or noticing the temperature of the room. Then, slowly, move into a more explicit sexual, imaginative, and instructive experience.
Ferly
Ferly is pretty much a matchmaker when it comes to pleasure. Answer a few questions, and based on your comfort level, the app will steer you toward guided sessions with sex toys or educational exercises on how to touch yourself.
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