I’m Zachary Zane, a sex writer, author, and ethical Boyslut (a fancy way of saying I sleep with a lot of people, and I’m very, very open about it). Over the years, I’ve had my fair share of sexual experiences, dating and sleeping with hundreds of people of all genders and orientations. In doing so, I’ve learned a thing or two about navigating issues in the bedroom (and a bunch of other places, TBH). I’m here to answer your most pressing sex questions with thorough, actionable advice that isn’t just “communicate with your partner” because you know that already. Ask me anything—literally, anything—and I will gladly Sexplain It.
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Dear Sexplain It,
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My girlfriend loves it when I finish inside her, but she’s not on birth control anymore because the last time she was on it, the hormones really messed with her moods. The issue is she still wants me to cum in her but plan it according to her cycle, so to do it when she’s not ovulating.
First, does planning around her ovulation cycle actually work, or is there still a chance she can get pregnant if I ejaculate in her while she’s not ovulating? On a related note, how effective is the pull-out method? I was thinking we could do that as another alternative to condoms.
—Cautious Creampie-er
Dear Cautious Creampie-er,
You, sir, are not actually being that cautious! While it’s true that pregnancy is less likely to happen at certain points in your girlfriend’s cycle, fertility tracking is by no means a foolproof method for preventing unwanted pregnancy. The so-called “rhythm method” is 75% effective, according to the Cleveland Clinic; for comparison, male condoms are 98% effective when used correctly every time you have sex.
To provide you with the most accurate medical information possible, I showed your question to Michael Ingber, MD, a urologist and urogynecologist at Garden State Urology. While fertilization is most likely to happen “about five days before ovulation to the day of ovulation,” he warned that “sperm can live in the vaginal canal for several days, and therefore, one may be taking their chances with the ‘timing’ method.” Adding to the risk is the fact that some people’s cycles are “not exactly regular.” So, to answer your question directly: Yes, there is still very much a risk of unwanted pregnancy even if you tried to time your orgasms around your girlfriend’s cycle.
As for the pull-out method? One of my buddies from college used to swear by it. I went to his son’s 5th birthday party last month.
Don’t just take my word for it. Studies have repeatedly shown that the pull-out method isn’t very effective at preventing unwanted pregnancy, either. The Cleveland Clinic says the pull-out method has a failure rate of about 20%, meaning that 1 in 5 people who rely on the pull-out method get pregnant within one year.
“Remember, sperm may escape the penis before ejaculation formally occurs,” Ingber said of the pull-out method. Pre-ejaculate fluid (or pre-cum) “can leak out of the urethra during sexual relations.” While some experts once believed there wasn’t any sperm in this fluid, “recent literature from the sexual assault field has shown there is, in fact, sperm in this fluid,” Ingber explained.
I’m curious: Is there another form of contraception your girlfriend would be open to? You mentioned that hormones are what’s messed with her moods. Has she explored a non-hormonal copper IUD (intrauterine device)? Of course, IUDs come with their own set of side effects, and it’s up to your girlfriend what she wants to do with her body.
If you don’t want kids now and don’t see that changing, you can also get a vasectomy. (TBH, I’m in the process right now of setting one up because I, too, love a good creampie. I’m also freezing my sperm “just in case”—another option for you to consider!)
If you’re down to try other forms of birth control, you can always stick to oral and anal. But, dude. You could also just put on a condom. Don’t mind me, just dropping a link to the thinnest, best-fitting condoms right here.
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