WE HAVE TO hand it to Netflix’s You. For a show about a guy who routinely gets away with murder, it devotes a delightful amount of screen time to normalizing “taboo” sex acts. In season 3, our heroes were a kinky pair of swingers, and in season 4, we meet a guy who loves a good golden shower. (FYI, “golden shower” is the fancy term for getting peed on in a sexy way. The medical term for enjoying this kink is “urolagnia” or “urophilia.”)
The golden shower scene, which takes place in Season 4’s second episode, finds Joe Goldberg (now assuming the identity of Jonathan Moore) stalking Adam Pratt, an ambitious, wealthy 20-something who recently opened a prestigious social club in London. When Joe watches Adam slip into a back room at an art show, he’s convinced he’s about to discover something he’s not meant to be seeing. He’s right, but it’s not what he expected. Peering through a crack in the door, Joe sees that Adam has stripped down to his underwear and put on a pair of swimming goggles. The bus boy pees on him. “I’ve seen enough,” Joe says, before slinking away.
Are people actually into golden showers?
Joe may not be into watersports—another fancy name for the activity—but it turns out, some guys are. Like with any sexual act, there are many reasons someone may be into piss play, says Justin Lehmiller, Ph.D., Kinsey Institute researcher and member of the Men’s Health advisory panel. Often, there’s a BDSM component, with people finding it humiliating (in an arousing way) to be urinated on.
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There’s also “the excitement of losing control and allowing your body to release fluids free of inhibition,” O’Reilly says. “Bodily functions are policed in western culture (e.g., no chewing loudly, burping, spitting, etc.), so watersports allow you to subvert these norms.”
Others may be aroused by the “fetishistic element,” Lehmiller adds. “Someone has learned to associate the sight, smell, feel, or taste of urine with sexual arousal.”
How common are golden showers?
There isn’t much research on the frequency of watersports, but we do have a sense of how many people are turned on by the idea.
When Lehmiller surveyed 4,175 Americans for his book, Tell Me What You Want, he asked them if they’d ever had sexual fantasies involving various bodily fluids. Now, fantasies don’t necessarily correlate to actual behavior, but Lehmiller’s findings at least give a sense of how many people are aroused by the idea of getting peed on:
• 8% of heterosexual women reported having fantasized about this before, but just 2% fantasized about it often;
• 19% of heterosexual men reported having fantasized about this before, but just 3% fantasized about it often;
• 20% of lesbian and bisexual women reported having fantasized about this before, but just 3% fantasized about it often;
• 40% of gay and bisexual men reported having fantasized about this before, with 8.5% saying they fantasize about it often.
“So, overall, it seems to be a more common fantasy among men compared to women,” Lehmiller tells Men’s Health. It’s also more common among LGBTQ+ folks than straight folks. “Across groups, however, it’s relatively uncommon for this to be a frequent or recurring fantasy.”
Are golden showers safe?
When it comes to being peed on, you’re generally safe, assuming you’re not peeing on any cuts or open wounds. “Your skin provides a natural barrier to most body fluids, including urine,” says Michael Ingber, M.D., a urologist and urogynecologist at Garden State Urology. “So nothing to worry about,” at least in small doses.
Chronic urine exposure can lead to some skin conditions. “For example, chronic urine exposure due to urinary incontinence can lead to a ‘chemical dermatitis’ which leads to skin breakdown, infections, and discomfort,” Inbger says. Think of babies with diaper rashes: That’s one of the main reasons we don’t let them sit in their pee (besides the smell and discomfort).
Golden showers aren’t the only way people bring pee into sex, says Lovehoney sex and relationship expert Jessica O’Reilly, Ph.D. Some people are into watching their partners pee (or letting their partner watch them), smelling pee, drinking pee, collecting pee from lovers as trophies (e.g., to keep in a jar), and peeing inside of a partner’s mouth, vagina, or anus.
As far as drinking pee goes? FOLX Health’s clinician Michelle Forcier (she/they), M.D., M.P.H., F.A.A.P., says that drinking a small amount of urine is not likely harmful, but drinking a lot of urine, especially if you’re dehydrated, can lead to stress on the kidneys. In fact, “drinking urine at large amounts for prolonged times can put you at risk for renal failure,” she says.
Peeing inside someone’s anus or vagina is also risky, since those body parts are absorbent. “While there aren’t technically any formal scientific studies on this practice, receiving pee in your anus or vagina can lead to increased absorption of electrolytes or lead to pH imbalances,” Ingber says. “Furthermore, while most urine is sterile, there is always a possibility that there can be an introduction of harmful bacteria into the vagina or the rectum via the urine.”
Nevertheless, Urologist Peter Stahl, M.D., of Hims & Hers, says that “vaginal or anal exposure to urine is unlikely to be harmful,” since the potential for absorption of damaging chemicals is “probably very small.”
Since experts are somewhat divided on the issue, you might want to keep other people’s pee out of your orifices if you’re concerned about safety.
We asked real watersports enthusiasts why they love golden showers. Here’s what they had to say.
• “I’m mostly the one who gets peed on, drinks it, and has gotten piss-fucked. But I’m an equal opportunist. If a guy’s into it, I’ll pee on him and give him plenty to drink—or share a ‘mixed’ drink between the two of us…I love the submissive aspects when I’m the one taking it. What tells a Dom you know your place better than being his willing urine drinker? But there’s also an intangible hotness and intimacy to something so taboo. It’s why I’m happy to indulge other guys who want a taste or feel of mine.” —Curt, 40
• “The most common scenario is letting my partners piss in my mouth while they mount my face, and I’m on my back trying to drink it all. I also love to piss inside of my partners while I am deep inside of them. I have had multiple vagina-having partners orgasm from the pressure of being filled up alone…You know, there is nothing inherent about pee itself that arouses me, but really the acts surrounding it. A glass full of piss isn’t really going to do anything for me, but making someone chug that glass makes my head spin. Society tells you it’s wrong, but rules are meant to be broken.” —Fritz, 31 (link NSFW.)
• “It isn’t necessarily the peeing itself that arouses me as much of the symbolism behind being peed on. It feels like my boyfriend is ‘marking his territory’ when he pees on me, and that’s hot.” —Tatyannah, 27
• “I like how taboo and degrading it is. I always feel so obedient and depraved when I play in the piss realm. It’s also a really intimate form of play.” —K, 31
• “As a queer pussy-owner, I’ve always been most turned on and fascinated by watching other people with pussies touch themselves/cum/etc. I think the visual effect of a little hole opening up and liquid coming out is really hot to me, especially since pussies don’t typically ejaculate like penises. Pissing during sex is warm, wet, and squelchy. Who doesn’t like that?” —Liz, 33
We also asked them how they find other partners who are into golden showers.
• “The internet is a wonderful place. I think everyone I’ve hooked up with, I’ve met online, whether Scruff, Recon, or back with the first guy who introduced it to me from Craigslist. It’s easier going into it knowing someone likes it than trying to feel it out with guys you meet in real life.” —Curt, 40
• “I haven’t had much trouble finding people open to indulging in a pee kink in my dating life. The less ‘gross’ you can make it while introducing someone to the idea, the better. Often when it’s someone’s first time doing pee play, we’ll start by taking a shower since it’ll wash away instantly.” —Fritz, 31
• “To find others who are into that already or at least want to try it, I ask long before we’ve even had sex, but I frame it in a direct yet almost comical way. I straight up ask, ‘If I told you to pee on me, how would you react?’” —Tatyannah, 27
• “I’m pretty involved in the kink scene, so it’s not hard to find people open to playing with pee. If I’m hooking up with someone, I can just say, ‘It would be so hot if you peed on/in me,’ and they’re usually down.” —K, 31
• “Again, I’m lucky to be part of a wide network of sex-positive and kinky humans who are usually pretty open about their desires. That being said, I’m not sure that I’ve actualized my ideal piss fantasy yet—an all vulva-owner pissing/squirting circle jerk where everyone eats chicken nuggets (vegan chicken nugs are OK, too). Chicken nuggets are really juicy when you squeeze them…I don’t know. It’s just an idea.” —Liz, 33
A final word on golden showers:
If this is something you want to try with a partner, be specific about what you’re looking for, O’Reilly says. “Saying ‘I want you to pee on me’ is pretty broad,” she explains. “Tell them where you want to be peed on (e.g., your feet or your face), and talk about what excites you. Let them know if you have any hard limits (e.g., you don’t want it on your face).”
And if your partner isn’t into it, that’s not an indictment of you! Watersports won’t be everyone’s cup of pee. Check out our list of kinks and fetishes and see if there’s something that interests you both.
Contributing Editor
Zachary Zane is the author of Boyslut: A Memoir and Manifesto and editor-in-chief of the BOYSLUT Zine, which publishes nonfiction erotica from kinksters across the globe. He writes “Sexplain It,” the sex and relationship advice column at Men’s Health, and is the co-author of Men’s Health Best. Sex. Ever. His work has been featured in New York Times, Rolling Stone, Washington Post, Playboy, and more.
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