THE NUMBER OF terms and identities under the LGBTQ+ umbrella is ever-growing, allowing more and more people to describe their sexuality with words that make sense to them. One word you may not have heard that is helping some people express who they are is “gynosexual” (sometimes spelled “gynesexual”).
“Gynosexuality refers to being sexually attracted to femininity, irrespective of one’s own gender identity or the gender identity of the femme-presenting person they are attracted to,” says sex educator Lilith Fox.
Read on to learn more about what it means to be gynosexual and whether this would be a good term to describe you.
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What does it mean to be gynosexual?
“Gynosexual” stems from the Greek word “gyn,” for “woman” or “female.” “It’s a relatively new term in the lexicon of sexual orientation, created to offer a more inclusive language for people who don’t identify within the traditional gender binary,” Foxx explains. For instance, if someone is non-binary and attracted to women, “gynosexual” may be a better fit for them than “straight” (which would typically be used by a man) or “lesbian” (which would typically be used by a woman).
”Additionally, it can be used by individuals who may be attracted to femininity or femme-presenting expressions that have nothing to do with gender identity,” Foxx adds. A gynosexual person can be attracted to feminine women, men, and/or non-binary people. Some gynosexual people are attracted to feminine people of all genders, while others are attracted just to feminine people of one gender, says Justin Lehmiller, Ph.D., a member of the Men’s Health Advisory Panel and Astroglide’s resident sex researcher.
Some people may use similar terms like “gynophilic” or “gynoromantic” to express an affinity for women and feminine partners. “While ‘gynesexual’ is relatively new to mainstream culture, a related term—’gynephile’—has been in use for decades among sex researchers as a word used to describe attraction to women or femininity,” Lehmiller says.
What it means to be attracted to femininity is very personal, as femininity has no universal definition. “It’s important to remember that gynosexuality is a term that speaks to the complexity and nuances of attraction to femininity rather than a rigid definition of sexuality or behavior,” says Rhiannon John, a sexologist at Bedbible.com. “Gynosexuality is a testament to the beautiful complexity of human sexuality and the many ways we can find ourselves drawn to the qualities and characteristics of others, regardless of their gender identity.”
Why do people identify as gynosexual?
“One might identify as gynosexual if they feel a consistent pattern of sexual attraction towards femininity,” Foxx says.
However, the feminine traits people are attracted to vary. “Some gynosexual individuals may be drawn to the physical aspects of femininity, such as feminine features or expressions of femininity,” John explains. “Others may be more interested in emotional or psychological aspects of femininity, such as qualities traditionally associated with femininity, like nurturing, empathy, or sensitivity.”
But who’s to say those traits are feminine? Although these are stereotypes shaped by our culture, the fact remains that stereotypes and culture influence who we are and our attraction patterns. “If it’s empowering and feels authentic for someone to identify with a stereotype and define it for themselves in the context of their own expression of it, I see it as a powerful tool rather than a hindrance,” Foxx says. “However, that doesn’t diminish the reality that for some, this concept can certainly be a hindrance or restrictive. Both perspectives are valid.”
In order to avoid being hindered by stereotypes of femininity as a gynosexual person, Foxx suggests deciding for yourself what traits you are attracted to, rather than assuming all “feminine” traits must be for you. Someone can be attracted to nurturing behavior, and not consider this a “feminine” trait or attraction pattern at all. Similarly, someone can be gynosexual and be attracted to confident and assertive partners, even if others may consider that “unfeminine.”
It’s also important to “be aware of implicit biases that you may harbor and be mindful of your behavior and expectations towards people that you date,” Foxx adds. “Just because someone is more masculine presenting does not mean that they should be expected to take the lead in the relationship, just as much as someone who is more feminine presenting should not be expected to be demure or submissive.”
What does the gynosexual flag look like?
There is a flag devoted to gynosexual pride, which has pink on the top and green on the bottom to represent attraction to women and femininity, as well as brown in the middle to represent stability and support.
The gynosexual flag.
How do I know if I’m gynosexual?
Pretty much anyone attracted to women or feminine traits would qualify as gynosexual. However, again, definitions of femininity and gynosexuality are subjective. “Sexuality and attraction are complex and multifaceted, and people may find that no single label can fully encompass or capture the nuances of their experiences,” John says.
So, it is up to each individual whether they wish to take on that label, she says. “The decision to use a label or not should be up to the individual and what feels most authentic and empowering to them.”
Suzannah Weiss is a freelance writer, certified sex educator, and sex/love coach whose work has appeared in The New York Times, The Washington Post, New York Magazine, and more
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