WHEN ELON MUSK challenged Mark Zuckerberg to a cage fight on Twitter, it seemed both entirely in-character for the attention-seeking CEO—simply another outlandish idea on which he would never follow up. But the idea of a billionaire brawl hasn’t gone away: Zuck posted footage from his own mixed martial arts training, and UFC president Dana White is claiming that the fight is definitely happening.
With jokes proliferating online about these two fully grown men taking things outside, Musk has since jokingly tweeted his suggestion that he and Zuck settle their beef with a good old-fashioned dick measuring contest. It’s a rare instance of self-awareness from the Twitter CEO, but it is also an encapsulation of this strange moment in culture we’re living through. Because the two tech giants are just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to powerful men finding ever increasingly creative ways to show off their manhood.
We’re way past the big dick energy conversation now. Welcome to small dick summer.
Obviously, in the real world, a penis has absolutely no bearing on your masculinity, and is not even a prerequisite for being a man. But the tradition of the pissing contest is rife among a certain kind of guy: a self-described “alpha male” who will take every opportunity to butt heads with other men to show dominance, to showboat and peacock and generally self-aggrandize because they think that’s what real men do.
While Elon and Zuck get combat-ready, Jeff Bezos is also busy flexing, both literally and figuratively. The Amazon CEO recently expressed his affection for wife Lauren Sanchez by crafting the figurehead of his $500 million yacht in her likeness (Succession discourse told us that “wealth whispers,” but apparently Bezos didn’t get the memo). Bezos is also well-known for working hard to stay in the best shape possible.
Staying fit and building strength and muscle are admirable goals of course, but for several high-profile men, it seems to be a signifier of much more than simply adhering to a healthy lifestyle.
When Democratic presidential candidate Robert Kennedy Jr. performed shirtless pushups and bench presses outside bodybuilding mecca Gold’s Gym in Venice, it made for an eye-catching photo op. But the accompanying Twitter caption—”getting in shape for my debates with President Biden!”—tacitly suggests that the 69-year-old Kennedy’s physical strength will somehow give him an edge over the 80-year-old sitting POTUS.
Kennedy is not alone: Miami mayor Francis Suarez wants you to know he can run a 5K with ease. Republican presidential candidate Vivek Ramaswamy is sharing stories of his college tennis games.
What remains unclear is how this relates to policy or governance in any meaningful way, or why it seems to be the men who sit towards the top of the pyramid who are so insistent on showing off. Maybe it’s just that the more things they tick off their list—money, success, power—and the less they have to strive for, the less fulfilled they feel. It’s no secret that billionaires can be deeply depressed. And so perhaps these gendered rituals become another holy grail, one more token of external glory that they think will make them feel more secure. Because what’s manlier than being the king of the castle, right?
But why now? Why this small dick summer? New York Times reporter Joseph Bernstein speculates that the Trump administration helped to popularize this elevated level of performed old-school masculinity, as has the bombastic level of theater surrounding MMA and its proponents, including the highly-influential Joe Rogan. However, Bernstein also points out that “the modern history of male politicians strutting and brawling dates back at least to Teddy Roosevelt in the early 1900s,” and that we’re now 14 years on from that infamous photo of Vladimir Putin riding shirtless on horseback.
Ostentatious displays of garish wealth and physical prowess are nothing new when it comes to signaling masculinity. But in a time when strictly male-coded figures occupy so many positions of power and influence over those who identify as either female or outside the gender binary, when the very real issues of privacy and reproductive rights and trans healthcare and LGBTQ+ protections are up in the air, then these contrived depictions of manhood come off as rehearsed, pointless, and, well, kind of silly.
Contrast this with the increasingly popular idea of “positive masculinity” in pop culture: men who exhibit kindness, empathy, and emotional openness and vulnerability as opposed to aggression, ego, or punching down. Pedro Pascal is living by his own personal rules of masculinity, and has been granted “daddy” status by the internet because of it. Former NBA star Dwyane Wade has moved his family out of Florida for his daughter Zaya’s safety, and has encouraged other fathers to protect and learn from their LGBTQ+ kids.
Celebs as wide-ranging as The Rock, Nick Cannon, Will Smith, Shawn Mendes, Pete Davidson, John Mulaney and strongman Eddie Hall have all spoken very publicly and frankly about their own mental health struggles, and urged other men to do the same. Amid the ongoing conversation about what it means to “be a man” in the 21st Century, you’d think jousting tournaments would be strictly on the way out.
But as small dick summer chugs on, we’re not just seeing politicians and entrepreneurs posturing for the sake of their peers; men in the spotlight are letting their compulsive manhood-measuring ruin their romantic lives, too.
In a cautionary tale of fragile male ego, Darius Jackson recently fumbled his relationship with Keke Palmer, the literal mother of his child, after footage went viral of the actress being serenaded by Usher. Never mind that Palmer and Usher are both entertainers and their slow dance was clearly for the cameras—Jackson felt the need to diss her choice of clothes and tweet “you a mom.” In a delicious twist, Palmer has since unfollowed Jackson on all socials and dropped her own line of T-shirts bearing the slogan “I’m a Motha.”
It’s a neat lesson in knowing when to keep your mouth shut and your ego under wraps. Ultimately, if we were to put it into words that these dudes will understand, it’s best to keep it in your pants.
Philip Ellis is a freelance writer and journalist from the United Kingdom covering pop culture, relationships and LGBTQ+ issues. His work has appeared in GQ, Teen Vogue, Man Repeller and MTV.
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