MOST OF US have experienced conflicting beliefs at one time or another.
For instance, you know that drinking too much alcohol is bad for your health, but you pour yourself a second glass of wine because you’re enjoying time with friends. You skip the gym after a tiring day at work, even though you value your health and know you want to exercise more and see progress.
Then, you feel guilt or shame because your actions are going against your core beliefs or values.
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This mental phenomenon is known as cognitive dissonance, explains licensed psychologist David Tzall, Psy.D., and it occurs “when we’re faced with the discomfort of holding two beliefs, attitudes, or values that contradict one another.”
Cognitive dissonance happens when your values and beliefs are challenged by social pressure, learning new information, having to make a quick decision, or behaving in a way that doesn’t align with your beliefs, according to the Cleveland Clinic.
It’s not a mental health diagnosis. It’s more of a thinking pattern, Tzall says. “It’s simply the outcome of how the human mind works.”
But, if you don’t recognize and manage your cognitive dissonance habits, it could lead to mental health conditions, like anxiety and depression, along with relationship problems.
“We can try to prevent it by making sure all our beliefs are in line with our behavior, but this is likely improbable, so we have to contend with this discomfort and various points in our life,” Tzall says. “Humans need consistency between how we behave and what we think and feel. When the discomfort is too great, we need to find a release valve to shore up and reconcile this uneasiness.”
What Is Cognitive Dissonance?
The term cognitive dissonance was coined by psychologist Leon Festinger in 1957. According to the American Psychological Association, he theorized that elements of knowledge, or cognitions, can be relevant or irrelevant to one another, and when they’re relevant, they can be consonant (meaning one follows from the other) or dissonant (the opposite of one cognition follows from the other).
Festinger used the term “dissonance” to refer to the feeling of psychological discomfort and the discrepancy between cognitions. The idea is that feeling psychologically uncomfortable leads someone to reduce dissonance, which could be by avoiding certain information or rationalizing changes in beliefs.
Cognitive dissonance offers an explanation for why people experience inconsistencies in their thinking and may adjust their thinking when their “thoughts, words, or behaviors seem to clash with each other,” according to Psychology Today.
“It’s a psychological conflict in which an individual’s beliefs or values do not align with their behaviors, causing internal distress,” says Angeleena Francis, L.M.H.C., executive director of AMFM Healthcare.
What Causes Cognitive Dissonance?
Cognitive dissonance pops up when your thinking, attitude, behavior, or previous internalized messages conflict with your behavior or new information that you have to reconcile with, Tzall says.
“When we’re exposed to new information, we have to find a way of making sense of it since it’s likely to clash with what we have always done or believed,” he says. “We can change our behavior or keep doing the same thing. Either way, we have to address this piece of new information.”
Cognitive dissonance might also happen when you’re attempting to avoid conflict or feeling pressure to accept certain cultural or societal norms, Francis adds.
Signs of Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive dissonance affects people differently, and Tzall says some people are more likely to experience it than others. “Based on your own background, traumas, and emotional and cognitive sensitivity, you might have a more difficult time discharging the mental discomfort and finding homeostasis.”
Signs that you might be dealing with cognitive dissonance include:
- Feeling discomfort that doesn’t have a clear or obvious source, especially after making a decision
- Struggling (or feeling paralyzed) to make decisions
- Questioning the decisions you make after the fact—or feeling guilty or embarrassed about them
- Feeling uncomfortable when reflecting on behaviors or actions that don’t align with your beliefs or values
- Giving in to societal pressure, even when it goes against your values
- Questioning your own moral compass
- Struggling to reconcile your personal needs with the needs of others
What Does Cognitive Dissonance Look Like?
Examples of cognitive dissonance include:
- When you believe your masculinity is tied to your ability to provide financial security for your household. But you enter a relationship where you’re not the primary earner. “You may experience cognitive dissonance, despite rationally understanding and supporting the relationship dynamics,” Francis says.
- When you were raised with the belief that men should be tough, strong, and unemotional. Cognitive dissonance happens when these values and beliefs contradict your true feelings and behaviors, which might be vulnerability, sensitivity, and emotional expressiveness, Tzall says.
- When you want to eat healthier but rely on fast food because it’s more convenient and affordable. But, you feel ashamed or conflicted about how you’re eating, according to the Cleveland Clinic.
How Cognitive Dissonance Can Affect You
Experiencing cognitive dissonance might lead you to suppress your emotions or deny your feelings, Tzall says. It can cause stress and feelings of inadequacy, and affect your mood, behavior, and decision making.
Depression and anxiety can be common when you’re “faced with existential crises from having to retool your values,” Tzall says. “Life may feel more challenging, and cynicism may creep into a person’s attitude.”
Cognitive dissonance might cause relationship problems, too, Francis says. Someone might project their discomfort or resentment onto others, which can cause conflict, or avoid certain situations or conversations.
In some cases, cognitive dissonance can have a positive effect, though, Tzall says. “It allows for personal growth and development, as it can prompt people to reassess their beliefs and values.”
How to Cope with Cognitive Dissonance
There are several ways to handle cognitive dissonance:
- Make deliberate decisions, which are conscious and intentional, and take into account your needs, wants, and what’s meaningful to you
- Create healthy boundaries and be assertive about your values to ensure that your needs are met
- Avoid making decisions on autopilot—or based on pressure, demands, or obligations from others
- Take a break from decision making if you’re unsure and revisit the situation later to ensure that your choices align with your values and core beliefs
- Challenge your beliefs and seek out new information, which can help you grow and take on a positive outlook
- Explore your own view of yourself, your identity, and deeply held beliefs
“The more we focus on our own needs and desires, the more likely we are to cut down on this dissonance because our behavior and thinking and feeling will consistently be in line with one another,” Tzall says.
If it all gets too overwhelming and you’re struggling to cope, or you’re experiencing depression or anxiety, seek help from a mental health professional or other counselor.
Erica Sweeney is a writer who mostly covers health, wellness and careers. She has written for The New York Times, HuffPost, Teen Vogue, Parade, Money, Business Insider and many more.
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