COURTESY SUBJECT/ MEN’S HEALTH ILLUSTRATION
IT’S SCARY: Car accidents, overdoses, suicides, and shootings account for roughly half of all deaths in men ages 20 to 50, reducing general life expectancy for all of us. These three guys survived close calls, and what they’ve learned may just save your life.
Kelsins Santos, 30
Survived a car crash at age 23
Fatal car crashes are the second-highest cause of death in guys ages 20 to 24.
COURTESY SUBJECT
I was a semester away from graduating from college in Puerto Rico. It was around 1:00 one morning in April 2014 when I left a friend’s house for the eight-minute drive home. The last thing I remember before blacking out was driving through the mountains. When I regained consciousness, I was surrounded by two friends and doctors who told me that I had been hit by a drunk driver. My car was totaled,I had a broken arm and leg, and I needed surgery—a rod in my left leg all the way from my knee to my ankle. The mental recovery was just as hard as the physical recovery. I couldn’t do anything for myself, like going to the bathroom or showering. I felt like such a burden. I would be lying if I didn’t say that I wanted to end it all at some point. I felt guilty because my parents, my friends, and even my community in Ceiba were taking care of me. I learned to be appreciative of the help that others gave, realizing it is one of the highest acts of love you can receive.
Nick McFarlin, 26
Survived a suicide attempt at age 19
Suicide is the tenth leading cause of death in the U. S., taking 3.63 times as many men as women.
COURTESY SUBJECT
I was a month away from turning 20 when I attempted suicide by crashing my car into a light pole. About a year before my attempt, a breakup amplified my depression. Feeling as if I didn’t get closure, I decided to catfish her six months later, where she revealed to my fake identity that she had never liked me in the first place. That plus the guilt of catfishing someone led me to the conclusion that the people around me would be better off with me dead.
Looking back, I realized I didn’t want to end my life, but I did want to punish myself. While I no longer want to end my life, the thoughts still come and go, to be honest. But I now have a group of friends I care about and vice versa. We watch movies, play board games, and go hiking together. I remind myself that if I killed myself, I’d miss so many good moments, like being a groomsman in my friend’s wedding and being able to see images of the surface of Pluto. Those things help keep depressive thoughts away for me and remind me of how great life can be.
Patrick Johnson, 34
Survived a homicide attempt at age 21
Homicides are the fifth-highest cause of death in men ages 20 to 44 and the leading cause in that age group among Black men.
COURTESY SUBJECT
Growing up in the suburbs of Chicago, I craved being part of the inner-city scene. In 2008, a roommate invited me to a party in Englewood. I wanted to dress to impress. Wearing at least $1,000 worth of clothes and tech, I keep bumping into the same guy at the party. Eventually I ask if there’s a problem. Out of the corner of my eye, I see some-one pulling a gun from behind a window air-conditioning unit. All I see are nine flashes and my left leg is warm. I put my hand in my pocket, immediately feeling blood. In shock, I tell my friend, “Hey, I think I’ve been shot.” He didn’t believe me.
Taking a bullet that left two holes in my left leg and having permanent nerve damage is one thing, but the mental anguish of almost losing your life is another. There’s the anxiety and flashbacks and judgment from family and peers. I turned to food—the one thing that didn’t judge me—to cope. I ballooned to over 300 pounds. My mother always told me, “There are intentions and there are results. Everything else is an excuse.” I couldn’t use nearly losing my life as an excuse anymore to eat my feelings. I took charge of my life. I went vegan, took up running and biking, and lost 125 pounds in the process.
This story appears in the April 2022 issue of Men’s Health.
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