What It Is & How to Try It, According to Sex Experts

SEVERAL WEEKS AGO, I was at a sex party that included a lingerie contest, and each contestant had to share one of their sexual fantasies. I began to notice a theme in the fantasies people shared: “To leave here with cum all over my tits.” “For someone other than my husband to cum inside me.”

What exactly is it with cum fetishes? Why are they so popular among people who produce cum and their partners alike?

“Cum fetishes are a type of sexual fetish that involves a fixation on ejaculated sexual body fluids, usually semen,” says sexologist Lilith Foxx. “People of all anatomies and expressions of sexual intimacy can experience this fetish. Plenty of people engage in the expression of this with artificial semen, or just through fantasy without acting on it.”


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Lots of people incorporate cum into their sex lives somehow—such as by swallowing it during a blowjob—but those who say they have a cum fetish often go beyond this. A fetish, technically speaking, is something that is necessary for sexual pleasure. So, those who incorporate cum fantasies into their sex lives only occasionally may be more accurately said to have a cum kink.

Cum fetishes and kinks are far from uncommon. About 79% of men and 65.5% of women have had fantasies involving semen, according to research by social psychologist Justin Lehmiller. And Mayla Green, confounder of The Adult Toy Shop, says their cum lube (which resembles cum thanks to ingredients like guar gum and titanium dioxide) is their second-best-selling lube.

Why do some people have a cum fetish?

People with cum fetishes or kinks are often attracted to certain properties of semen such as the texture, taste, or sight, Foxx says. “For others, it may be related to the emotional connection and intimacy involved in sharing bodily fluids with a partner,” she adds. “It can also tap into several other fetishes as well, such as eroticism of power differentials, messes, and sexual degradation.”

Some people are turned on by semen due to its association with fertility, says Amber Shine, sex and dating coach and manager at XFansHub.com. In addition, she says, “the act of ejaculating can be seen as a symbol of dominance or submission in power exchange dynamics.”

“Sometimes it’s the taste and texture, but also the idea behind it: that it’s a part of someone,” says Connor, a 36-year-old gay man in the U.K. with a cum fetish. “I know that sounds weird, but it feels like I get a piece of them.”

How do I explore a cum fetish?

As with any fetish or kink, the first step to explore a cum fetish is to have a conversation about it with your partner. “Be open, honest, and clear about what you want to explore,” says sex therapist Melissa Cook. “Establish consent, boundaries, and a safe word, if necessary.”

Then, you may want to do research on different sexual activities that incorporate cum. “Some activities that people may engage in to satisfy a cum fetish can include watching or being watched while ejaculating, consuming semen, cooking with semen, using it in beauty or ritual application, or incorporating semen into sexual acts,” Foxx says.

Another, perhaps more common expression of a cum fetish is having someone ejaculate on your face or body, Shine says. Some forms of this are “cream pies,” where someone ejaculates on the outside of the vulva, or “bukkake,” where multiple people ejaculate on one person’s face.

And that’s not all: For a practice known as “gokkun,” someone drinks one or more person’s cum out of a container. Someone also might enjoy “having a partner beg for cum or using edging as a means of denying it,” says Lisa Lawless, a psychotherapist at Holistic Wisdom.

For Connor, oral and anal sex scratch the itch for cum. “But mutual masturbation can satisfy, if cum is involved and I get to touch it.”

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Are there any precautions I should take when exploring a cum fetish?

Since STIs can spread through bodily fluids, condoms are helpful for avoiding transmission through semen. However, if you are wanting someone to ejaculate inside your mouth, vagina, or anus—or even just on your skin—STI testing is an important precaution to protect yourself. In addition, it is possible to get pregnant from a cream pie, so you should use birth control accordingly.

In addition, those wanting to consume semen may want to do so soon after an ejaculation occurs. “Semen tends to go rancid quickly, typically within an hour or less,” Foxx says. “So, if a cum fetishist consumes it after the fact, it is possible for there to be digestive issues.”

Some people are allergic to semen, Cook points out. If you experience skin irritation or any other abnormal symptoms when you come into contact with semen, talk to a doctor.

Using artificial semen, such as cum lube, can prevent many of the risks associated with real semen, Foxx says. “Just be sure that it is safe to consume,” she says. “These can also be incorporated into solo play for individuals who may not be able to produce semen.” Cum lube and similar products can be put into a squirting dildo in order to create a realistic experience, says Green.

And, of course, as always, “consent and communication are key,” Cook adds. “Make sure everyone involved is aware of the activities and has given their explicit consent. Keep communication lines open throughout your experience, and check in with your partner regularly.”

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Suzannah Weiss is a freelance writer, certified sex educator, and sex/love coach whose work has appeared in The New York Times, The Washington Post, New York Magazine, and more

This article was originally posted here.

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