I’m Zachary Zane, a sex writer, author, and ethical Boyslut (a fancy way of saying I sleep with a lot of people, and I’m very, very open about it). Over the years, I’ve had my fair share of sexual experiences, dating and sleeping with hundreds of people of all genders and orientations. In doing so, I’ve learned a thing or two about navigating issues in the bedroom (and a bunch of other places, TBH). I’m here to answer your most pressing sex questions with thorough, actionable advice that isn’t just “communicate with your partner” because you know that already. Ask me anything—literally, anything—and I will gladly Sexplain It.
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Dear Sexplain It,
My girlfriend loves when I finger her hard and fast, but when I do that, my hand/wrist/forearm starts to cramp. I switch hands frequently, but I still can’t last for longer than 30 seconds without it hurting. Any advice for lasting longer (at fingering)?
—Forearm Cramps
Dear Forearm Cramps,
You’ve probably heard that the “come hither” motion is a great way to stimulate the spongy area known as the G-spot—and that’s true. But all that back-and-forth finger motion can lead to your hand, wrist, and forearm getting tired pretty quickly. Instead, what might be helpful is getting yourself into a position where you can move your entire arm back and forth. You won’t get as tired because you’ll be recruiting bigger muscles.
Renowned “sex hacker” Kenneth Play discusses this fingering technique in his book Beyond Satisfied. He talks about it in the context of making your partner squirt, so hey, there’s an extra reason for you to try it.
“To stimulate the G-spot vigorously, you’ll need a full range of motion with your fingers inside your partner’s vagina,” Play writes. “Rather than using just your fingers or your wrist to create the motion, you’ll use your whole arm—so it’s important to get into an ergonomic position.”
Play suggests having your partner lie on her back. Get on your hands and knees so that your fingering hand is between her legs, and the other hand is planted next to the closer side of her torso. From there, she can lift the leg that’s between your arms and drape it over your shoulder. With the planted hand stabilizing you, your fingering hand—palm facing up—will have full access to her vagina. Use your entire arm to guide it in and out. While you’re moving your arm, keep your finger(s) bent, angled slightly upward toward the G-spot. (If you keep your fingers straight, you could end up jabbing your girlfriend’s cervix, which can be painful.)
A different “cheat” involves using your knees. If your girlfriend is on her back, and you’re kneeling down over her, kneeling between her legs, fingering her, go ahead and place your knee behind your bent elbow. You can then move your knee to push your arm in and out of your partner’s vagina. Someone actually did this to me recently at a play party. She used her knee to repeatedly push the dildo into my anus when her arm was getting tired of inserting and removing it. Worked like a charm! (Speaking of dildos, sex toys that specifically target the G-spot will help give your arm a break. While using them, you can use your free hand—or tongue—to stimulate your girlfriend’s clitoris.)
Now, if you’re really serious about stepping up your fingering game, you can also check out our list of the best exercises for bigger, stronger forearms. This is Men’s Health, after all.
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